1. Sometimes, there are two sides to every story. Other times, you’re talking about Caitlin from Facebook’s cousin.
My cousin is a true lady. At my sisters wedding, she stole all of the free cigars, shoved them in her grossly ample cleavage and blamed it on the closest black guy. She then proceed to proposition anyone and everyone, from our wedding and the strangers wedding in the room next door. Man or woman, young or old, it didn’t matter, her groping hands were everywhere. It was open bar, she left the bar with 5 white Russians everytime, all for her.
After the wedding ended, a groomsman found her lying in the parking lot and he offered to help her. She declined but offered to let him watch her pleasure herself in the bathroom. He declined, so she countered with an offer of oral sex. He still declined, so she threw profanities at him. Back at the hotel, she wandered around the parking lot alternately screaming and crying. Once inside, she tried seducing her sisters husband, in front of family members. The last time I saw her that night, she was lost in an elevator and couldn’t figure out how to get out.
2. This story, emailed in by an anonymous reader, has an important moral: don’t get too close to your work friends. Or maybe anyone.
My ex-boyfriend/ex-husband and I were friends with another couple, we will call them Tim and Susan, and we all worked for the same company before we got married. Tim had been one of my close friends since I was about 15. (I was about 24 at this time.) Tim and Susan got engaged out of the blue and I was very happy for them. About a month or 2 later, my boyfriend proposed to me. I had never been married before and my boyfriend had had a very short marriage before me. The other couple had both been married before.
We go about planning the wedding and Susan and I were to be a bridesmaids in the other’s wedding. They were having lots of issues planning their wedding with venues and such while ours was flowing along smoothly. I even made sure she was ok with the fact that I wanted to get married a couple months before her.
Cut to the wedding day: I had made sure the bridesmaids dresses were comfortable and flattering to everyone. I asked that they please leave their dresses on as long as the photographer was in attendance. After about an hour at the reception I see Susan walking around with some ugly brown skirt and and t-shirt. She decided that she wanted to change. I was pissed but didn’t want it to ruin my wedding day so I ignored her. At least for awhile.
Her and her boyfriend preceded to smoke multiple joints behind the building where the reception was being held and also got completely drunk. They didn’t stay to help us clean anything and I ended up having to take off my wedding dress to help clean the building after the reception.
My husband and I went on our honeymoon. We come back and go to work after a week to find out she has told everyone at the company what a bitch I was at my wedding and how i yelled at everyone and ordered people around and kept telling people what to do. She made up multiple stories of how I was a huge bridezilla. I was completely in shock.
I called my closest family and friends, the ones that would tell me the truth, to ask how I was and they said they didn’t see me lose my cool even once. I confronted her about it and she lied and said that she didn’t say anything to anyone. She replaced me in her wedding with her sister and had to get a new dress because her sister wouldn’t fit in the one I was going to wear.
They ended up having to have a Vegas style wedding because no one in our small town would marry them since they both had been divorced. I never once spoke to either of them again. I left the company about a year later but my ex-husband stayed working there.
He said the day after i left she started flirting with him and he told her to “F” off. My husband told me later that he had intended to propose to me a few months before he actually did and talked to Tim about it and showed him the ring he had purchased for me. Tim proposed to Susan the very next day.
He was furious and Tim even rubbed it in his face that he “beat him.” I also found out she talked trash about me the entire time i was planning my wedding. She didn’t attend my bridal shower or my bachelorette party. I have ran into her out and about since then and ignore her even when she attempts to talk to me. My husband and I got divorced a couple years ago but we still talk about how crazy she is.
3. Debbie’s story is proof that a rich town is no protection against disaster. The culprit here is even more terrifying than the brother’s girlfriend: the brother’s ex-girlfriend.
I was a guest at a wedding in a very upscale community. All the wedding guests were seated in the church wearing their designer outfits. The priest was in place, the groom at the altar, and the organist started to play the wedding march. The bride was about to be escorted to the altar by her brother. As the flower girls walked down the aisle all of a sudden we heard screams, and a loud commotion.
Apparently, the brother of the bride had dumped his girlfriend right before the wedding, so the crazy ex decided she was going to ruin his sister’s big day. She physically attacked the bride, gauging fingernails in her face, tearing her veil off her head. She also was trying to rip the wedding gown off of the bride.
Guests were trying to break up the attack. The mother of the bride dumped a bowl of holy water over the ex-girlfriend’s head and it took 6 grown men to finally physically restrain the ex girlfriend. The priest just stood at the altar shouting “Jesus Christ” and rattled off a bunch of prayers. (Some of them even sounded like he was performing an exorcisism!)
The police were called, 5 patrol cars responded and the brother’s ex girlfriend was eventually arrested. After an hour delay so that the bride’s dress could be repaired, the wedding finally took place.
We found out at the reception that the ex-girlfriend had been committed to a mental institution. Unfortunately, the bride had cuts all over her face but the wedding photographer was able to retouch them out of the wedding pictures. This wedding was definitely soap-opera worthy, and is a true legend in the town.
4. Cassandra can laugh at her confused, mean-spirited wedding officiant now, but the online review she might have left probably wasn’t as forgiving.
We hired a sweet old lady to marry us. The night before the wedding at the rehearsal she was different. She had a huge scar across her neck and her speech was slurred. I don’t know if it was surgery and she was hopped up on pain meds or if she pissed off a bride the week before. She was mean as hell.
We paid her extra to do the rehearsal and my parents were 10 minutes late because they stopped to pay the caterer and their system was down. She wanted to have the rehearsal without my dad to walk me down. I told her she was going to wait, again it was 10 minutes.
She barked orders at everyone once it got started and was even mean to the flower girl. I was so upset I could barely go to sleep that night worrying about the minister the next day. So we’re lining up to do the ceremony and I see she has a book with her speech all written out and my name is even highlighted.
Well she starts calling me the wrong name part way through the ceremony then back to the right one. When she goes back to the wrong name my sister corrects her out loud.
Immediately after the ceremony she demanded payment from my parents and was very rude about it. Then she had the nerve to ask for a review on one of those wedding websites. I told her she really didn’t want me to do that. No apologies or anything. Best part is we have video of this and it’s pretty funny to go back and watch.
5. Rebecca is a woman of few words, but not many are needed to convey that this mother of the groom was, indeed, a special one.
When we got married. My husband’s mother flew out from Philadelphia and we met her at the airport. I knew immediately she did not like me. Then she served my husbands father with divorce papers, so the entire event was shrouded by that.
They both told us that “well, maybe I should not go to the wedding because THEY are going to be there.”
My husband was so upset over all this stupid drama that I got us a hotel room and we went there to get away from them. What a mess.